foam finger

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So, I’m a big fan of the Garage Sale.

It’s a family thing.

And the only sport at which I excel.

Anyhow, I often buy things in bulk (by the bag or box), giving more attention to the money I’m saving than the actual product I’m taking home.

This sometimes makes for surprises down the road when I finally get around to perusing my finds.

This book, for example, looked like a fun read.

Made completely of foam, it allows children learn the names of different articles of clothing in a jigsaw-puzzle type of way.

Sounds good, right?

Somehow, though, things got a little sketchy.

Does no one else see a problem with putting this in a kids’ book?

How about…?

Or…?

.

Reminds me of the x-rated flannelette.

.

I can just see a bunch of men sitting around a table pitching ideas.

“Hmm.  You know what we need?  A book on the Joys of Flashing.”

“But Bob.  Flashing is so two decades ago.  It’ll never fly.”

“Good point, Bill.  How can we make unwanted sexual advances more fun and kid friendly?”

“I know!   We can make it out of FOAM!”

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About Angela

My name is Angela. I am a 28 year old psych and criminology graduate, but I'd rather not diagnose you. I am a cuddle-slut. I can recite the entire script of The Princess Bride, (including accents) and believe that the meaning of life is contained within. Polyanna, Snap.com commercials, and Oprah 'reunion shows' make me cry. I can whistle and hum at the same time, but I cannot touch my toes. I am an expert in both listening and talking. I look good in orange. I am a writer. I kick ass in Gin, Hearts, and Cribbage but I don't understand Canasta or Bridge. I can be heard singing Broadway numbers from my shower, and have dressed up as a viking princess, (complete with aluminum foil breast plate) The Phantom of the Opera, and a Ghostbuster for Hallowe'en. I have a bird named Bean. I have a brother named Adam. They are not related. I like vanilla body lotion, peanut butter, saunas, Jim Carrey, broccoli, pets, TheOnion.com, Muppets, Kevin Smith, Corelle dishes, dry erase white-boards, Barenaked Ladies, Philosophy, the letter J, Harry Potter, picture frames, swimming, quilting, Michael Moore, genealogy, Raggedy Anne, tacky 50's tchotchke, 'Idiot's Complete Guide To' books, tweezers, feather pillows, polar dips, aquariums, Martin Luther King Jr., and Dr. Pepper. I don't like meat, gossips, cooked carrots, American Idol, mosquitoes, sweating, politics, public washrooms, tardiness, tuition, hunting, pat answers, pick up lines, brown bananas, cliches, pine scented air freshener, Kevin Costner, bacon, candied apples, pro-wrestling, humidity, and hypocrisy. Books I've read recently The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Dark Tower, When Nietzsche Wept, What's So Amazing About Grace?, Catcher in the Rye, Not Wanted On the Voyage, The Red Tent, The Little Prince, The Way the Crow Flies, Slaughterhouse-Five, The Poisonwood Bible, The Fall, The Knot of Vipers, Calculating God, The Chrysalids, Sick Puppy, Nineteen Eighty-Four, Franny and Zooey, The Brothers Karamazov, and jPod. I am slightly neurotic. No I'm not. Yes I am.

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