My friend Val is a hunting widow.
She loses her husband several weeks of the year while he exerts his dominance over the animal kingdom by blowing the brains out of one of God’s most amazing creatures.
Val: I’m suuuuuuuper excited that moose season is open. Super. And it goes to February. Trapping season opens today too. 😦 Maybe I can convince Joe that shopping season starts after trapping, and it requires me to be away every weekend till fall….
Me: “Bullwinkle? Your mother can’t be with you anymore.”
Val: Actually, his father would be the better catch – and let’s face it, they’re pretty much expendable.
Me: Also, their heads look more impressive mounted on the wall.
Val: Insert “full of bullshit” joke here.
Me: The lack of a ‘horny’ joke would be remiss.
Val: They have big penises too, but I can’t figure out how to make that an insult.
Me: Giant penises (peni?) to compensate for their tiny trucks?