So, I’m at church, dealing with the many surprised congratulations that come from a whole lot of people just finding out I’m up the duff…
SuperOldandWrinkledManwithHugeOldManEyeBrowsandTuftsofHairGrowingOutofPlacesNoTuftsofHairShouldRightlyGrow: I hear I am to congratulate you.
Me: Oh yeah? What amazing thing have I done lately?
SUaWM: I hear you are with child.
Me: Yup. I got myself all pregnant over Christmas.
…in which the conversation takes a disturbing turn…
SOaWM: So, is it Guy’s, or Santa’s?
Me: Uh, well, I’ve never really been one for massive amounts of facial hair…
SoaWM: Admit it. Santa came down your chimney and stuffed your stocking.
I seriously need to find myself another church.