Conversations from across The Pond

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So, I found this saved conversation between Sarah and myself.

It’s from a long while ago.

Not too sure why I kept it.

It’s amusing, regardless.

 

Sarah: Check it out: I met a great woman the other day, married with three kids, who said that there isn’t much difference between being single and being married, EXCEPT, “See that trampoline out there in my backyard? We do it there. On the trampoline.  Some people stay single and get their masters in literature. I have my Masters in trampolining.”
Angela: Heh.
Sarah: It made me laugh soooooo hard, so I brought up your “Who cares if they don’t put the toilet seat down when they can do THAT with their tongue” comment. It was well received. You’re a hit in the UK.
Angela: Angela Goes Global.
Sarah: They love you.
Angela: Hard not to, really.
Sarah: The same woman pointed out the delicate balance between feminism and being submissive, as a wife. “I obey my husband,” she says, “and all he has to do is worship me.” She’s HILARIOUS.
Angela: I think I love her. That is my new credo. I’ll have bumper stickers made up.
Sarah: I think you ARE her – With a Liverpool accent, three kids later.
Angela: How do I look after three kids? Is my ass huge? -er?
Sarah: Good idea with the bumper stickers. They’ll sell like hotcakes.
Angela: Both here and across the pond. Or am I across the pond? I can never remember.
Sarah: It’s a big, round pond. We’re all on the “other” side.
Angela: Logistics. Ptht.
Sarah: So, how’s life on your side?
Angela: It’s going well. We’re halfway through foster training. Guy’s thinking of quitting his job and going to bible school or joining the circus. I’m not looking forward to living in a cardboard box.
Sarah: Whoa. Are you still working?
Angela: Yeah…making minimum. I see food stamps in my future.
Sarah: Weren’t you doing something with “herbs” a little while back? Now that they’re legal in small doses, you could probably do much better…
Angela: I do that on the side, for friends and stuff. Maybe I’ll do something in it later if things move in that directions, but I’m enjoying the sewing for now.
Sarah: What does guy want to study? And…you’re sewing? I didn’t get that memo.
Angela: Yeah, drapes, quilts, etc. I’m the chippy from American Gothic, didn’t you know? As for Guy, it’s more him disliking his job and brainstorming what he’d like to do instead, rather than some ‘Calling’.
Sarah: What’s his ‘calling’, then?
Angela: To worship the ground I walk on. Haven’t we been over this?
Sarah: I’m behind in my Roberge Readings, I suppose. (How behind AM I?)
Angela: You mean you’re not faithfully reading my blog. Shame.
Sarah: YOU HAVE A BLOG?
Angela: Yes to the blog…it’s right there in my comments on your site.
Sarah: Right. Sorry. Ok, on to the fact that I’m so BLOND I missed the fact that you post using your Blogger id. I thought you were just a random poster, like Nik or something. No picture shows up…
Angela: Now you know… I expect you to catch up. There will be a test.
Sarah: Oh, I SO will. I LONG for blogs written by people who aren’t out to impress me with inane banter. Yours would be a blog I would happily join to mine with a link – er, if you’d let me.
Angela: If you like. The banter may be inane, but I promise never to try to impress you.
Sarah: Exactly. Which is why I heart you. And your writing is better than “I went out l8r that eve. w/ my girlz…”
Angela: ‘s’up dawg
Sarah: Does Nik know about your blog?
Angela: Yup.
Sarah: Never mind. Two of the three comments posted on a recent update of yours were from him. He’s been holding out on me. I’m bitter.
Angela: Poor Sarah.
Sarah: I’ve been treading water in a sea of stupid blogs for so long, whilst Nik drifts by in the ANGELA BLOG FLOTATION DEVICE.
Angela: Sipping mojitos and waving, I’m sure.
Sarah: Whoa. I’m sorry – was that possibly the stupidest analogy EVER?
Angela: Yeah, I’ve never heard my name and flotation devices in the same sentence EVER BEFORE.
Sarah: I just choked. You’re my hero. I’m linking your blog to mine as an eternal symbol of my coolness, in association to you. *sigh* Wait…how did you hear about *my* blog?
Angela: I got it from Nik’s site. We’re both on his ‘Reviews’ page.
Sarah: Ohhhhhhhh… I’m such a dumb-ass blogger. Well, no harm done. I have your blog now and I’m chuffed to bits about it.
Angela: Well, I’m glad to have made your day. Must go, though. I’ve dinner to make. There’s a butternut squash marked for slaughter.
Sarah: Ok, until next time.
Angela: L8r, gurrrrlfriend.

Sarah: *cringe*

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About Angela

My name is Angela. I am a 28 year old psych and criminology graduate, but I'd rather not diagnose you. I am a cuddle-slut. I can recite the entire script of The Princess Bride, (including accents) and believe that the meaning of life is contained within. Polyanna, Snap.com commercials, and Oprah 'reunion shows' make me cry. I can whistle and hum at the same time, but I cannot touch my toes. I am an expert in both listening and talking. I look good in orange. I am a writer. I kick ass in Gin, Hearts, and Cribbage but I don't understand Canasta or Bridge. I can be heard singing Broadway numbers from my shower, and have dressed up as a viking princess, (complete with aluminum foil breast plate) The Phantom of the Opera, and a Ghostbuster for Hallowe'en. I have a bird named Bean. I have a brother named Adam. They are not related. I like vanilla body lotion, peanut butter, saunas, Jim Carrey, broccoli, pets, TheOnion.com, Muppets, Kevin Smith, Corelle dishes, dry erase white-boards, Barenaked Ladies, Philosophy, the letter J, Harry Potter, picture frames, swimming, quilting, Michael Moore, genealogy, Raggedy Anne, tacky 50's tchotchke, 'Idiot's Complete Guide To' books, tweezers, feather pillows, polar dips, aquariums, Martin Luther King Jr., and Dr. Pepper. I don't like meat, gossips, cooked carrots, American Idol, mosquitoes, sweating, politics, public washrooms, tardiness, tuition, hunting, pat answers, pick up lines, brown bananas, cliches, pine scented air freshener, Kevin Costner, bacon, candied apples, pro-wrestling, humidity, and hypocrisy. Books I've read recently The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Dark Tower, When Nietzsche Wept, What's So Amazing About Grace?, Catcher in the Rye, Not Wanted On the Voyage, The Red Tent, The Little Prince, The Way the Crow Flies, Slaughterhouse-Five, The Poisonwood Bible, The Fall, The Knot of Vipers, Calculating God, The Chrysalids, Sick Puppy, Nineteen Eighty-Four, Franny and Zooey, The Brothers Karamazov, and jPod. I am slightly neurotic. No I'm not. Yes I am.

20 responses »

  1. retro

    Wow. I had forgotten about that conversation. Do you keep all your MSN converstations?

    Oh…how I miss that lady in Liverpool… *sigh*

  2. retro

    Wow. I had forgotten about that conversation. Do you keep all your MSN converstations?

    Oh…how I miss that lady in Liverpool… *sigh*

  3. retro

    Wow. I had forgotten about that conversation. Do you keep all your MSN converstations?

    Oh…how I miss that lady in Liverpool… *sigh*

  4. retro

    Wow. I had forgotten about that conversation. Do you keep all your MSN converstations?

    Oh…how I miss that lady in Liverpool… *sigh*

  5. retro

    Wow. I had forgotten about that conversation. Do you keep all your MSN converstations?

    Oh…how I miss that lady in Liverpool… *sigh*

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