Nothin’ but the blood of Tom Cruise

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Does this mean we’ll eventually get to nail him to a cross?

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About Angela

My name is Angela. I am a 28 year old psych and criminology graduate, but I'd rather not diagnose you. I am a cuddle-slut. I can recite the entire script of The Princess Bride, (including accents) and believe that the meaning of life is contained within. Polyanna, Snap.com commercials, and Oprah 'reunion shows' make me cry. I can whistle and hum at the same time, but I cannot touch my toes. I am an expert in both listening and talking. I look good in orange. I am a writer. I kick ass in Gin, Hearts, and Cribbage but I don't understand Canasta or Bridge. I can be heard singing Broadway numbers from my shower, and have dressed up as a viking princess, (complete with aluminum foil breast plate) The Phantom of the Opera, and a Ghostbuster for Hallowe'en. I have a bird named Bean. I have a brother named Adam. They are not related. I like vanilla body lotion, peanut butter, saunas, Jim Carrey, broccoli, pets, TheOnion.com, Muppets, Kevin Smith, Corelle dishes, dry erase white-boards, Barenaked Ladies, Philosophy, the letter J, Harry Potter, picture frames, swimming, quilting, Michael Moore, genealogy, Raggedy Anne, tacky 50's tchotchke, 'Idiot's Complete Guide To' books, tweezers, feather pillows, polar dips, aquariums, Martin Luther King Jr., and Dr. Pepper. I don't like meat, gossips, cooked carrots, American Idol, mosquitoes, sweating, politics, public washrooms, tardiness, tuition, hunting, pat answers, pick up lines, brown bananas, cliches, pine scented air freshener, Kevin Costner, bacon, candied apples, pro-wrestling, humidity, and hypocrisy. Books I've read recently The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Dark Tower, When Nietzsche Wept, What's So Amazing About Grace?, Catcher in the Rye, Not Wanted On the Voyage, The Red Tent, The Little Prince, The Way the Crow Flies, Slaughterhouse-Five, The Poisonwood Bible, The Fall, The Knot of Vipers, Calculating God, The Chrysalids, Sick Puppy, Nineteen Eighty-Four, Franny and Zooey, The Brothers Karamazov, and jPod. I am slightly neurotic. No I'm not. Yes I am.

45 responses »

  1. I’ll bring a hammer!!

    *Headdesk, Headdesk, Headdesk* I have never been able to stomach that imbecile, even before he went completely psycho. Though I wouldn’t put it past the morons who practice that absurd “religion” to think something like that; after all look at their originator. *rolls eyes* It amazes me how most of Hollywood believes that complete and utter tripe.

    The article made laugh though, the author has a great sense of humor.

  2. I’ll bring a hammer!!

    *Headdesk, Headdesk, Headdesk* I have never been able to stomach that imbecile, even before he went completely psycho. Though I wouldn’t put it past the morons who practice that absurd “religion” to think something like that; after all look at their originator. *rolls eyes* It amazes me how most of Hollywood believes that complete and utter tripe.

    The article made laugh though, the author has a great sense of humor.

  3. I’ll bring a hammer!!

    *Headdesk, Headdesk, Headdesk* I have never been able to stomach that imbecile, even before he went completely psycho. Though I wouldn’t put it past the morons who practice that absurd “religion” to think something like that; after all look at their originator. *rolls eyes* It amazes me how most of Hollywood believes that complete and utter tripe.

    The article made laugh though, the author has a great sense of humor.

  4. I’ll bring a hammer!!

    *Headdesk, Headdesk, Headdesk* I have never been able to stomach that imbecile, even before he went completely psycho. Though I wouldn’t put it past the morons who practice that absurd “religion” to think something like that; after all look at their originator. *rolls eyes* It amazes me how most of Hollywood believes that complete and utter tripe.

    The article made laugh though, the author has a great sense of humor.

  5. I’ll bring a hammer!!

    *Headdesk, Headdesk, Headdesk* I have never been able to stomach that imbecile, even before he went completely psycho. Though I wouldn’t put it past the morons who practice that absurd “religion” to think something like that; after all look at their originator. *rolls eyes* It amazes me how most of Hollywood believes that complete and utter tripe.

    The article made laugh though, the author has a great sense of humor.

  6. It seems slapstick is alive and well! I particularly appreciated the “Life of Brian” references in the article. I personally will not be crucifying Mr. Cruise, though I plan to be one of the sniggering masses when he realizes that he needs an extra hand to nail his other hand to the cross.

    Always looking on the bright side of life,

    Lib

  7. It seems slapstick is alive and well! I particularly appreciated the “Life of Brian” references in the article. I personally will not be crucifying Mr. Cruise, though I plan to be one of the sniggering masses when he realizes that he needs an extra hand to nail his other hand to the cross.

    Always looking on the bright side of life,

    Lib

  8. It seems slapstick is alive and well! I particularly appreciated the “Life of Brian” references in the article. I personally will not be crucifying Mr. Cruise, though I plan to be one of the sniggering masses when he realizes that he needs an extra hand to nail his other hand to the cross.

    Always looking on the bright side of life,

    Lib

  9. It seems slapstick is alive and well! I particularly appreciated the “Life of Brian” references in the article. I personally will not be crucifying Mr. Cruise, though I plan to be one of the sniggering masses when he realizes that he needs an extra hand to nail his other hand to the cross.

    Always looking on the bright side of life,

    Lib

  10. It seems slapstick is alive and well! I particularly appreciated the “Life of Brian” references in the article. I personally will not be crucifying Mr. Cruise, though I plan to be one of the sniggering masses when he realizes that he needs an extra hand to nail his other hand to the cross.

    Always looking on the bright side of life,

    Lib

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