My poor mother. She stays in a shitty marriage for twenty seven years, only to be dumped for a physiotherapist. And now her best friend pulled some infantile, queenbitch shtuff on her.
Having been single for the past three years after she gave my father the boot, (woot!) my mother was thrilled when this chap, Biff, (I will not make fun of his name. I will not make fun of his name) took a shine to her.
He is good looking, very nice, (if a little bitter about his divorce five years ago) and has a great job. And before anyone bites my head off for that last point, let it be known that Up North, many a feller would rather collect social assistance than work.
Anyhow, so Mom’s all stoked, and calls her friend Monica that she has been recently hit on. Monica, instead of being happy for Mom, however, pulls a hissy fit, claiming that even though Monica never mentioned a word on the subject, my mom should have known that Monica liked Burt, and how my mother should have known that Monica’s feelings would be hurt, and how could Mom steal the guy she was interested in? She rounds off her brilliant diatribe by stating that should my mom ever go out with this guy, their friendship would be over.
First of all: Are we still in highschool? What the hell is all this ‘stealing’ crap?
Second of all: I didn’t realize that friends emotionally blackmail each other. This news to me. I must have missed that memo.
Third: Monica has known this gentleman for years. Before and after his divorce, and he’s never shown the slightest bit of interest in her.
I’ve told her she needs to diversify her friend portfolio. Obviously this stock is about to plummet.