Cruel and Unusual


As I go through this detox/fast, it continually strikes me how much food is ingrained in my life and society as a whole.

Food is so SOCIAL.

Friends come over for dinner. You watch a movie with popcorn. Even Communion at church is celebrated with the breaking of freaking bread. I just can’t get away from it. I swear there are 100% more food commercials on television, now that I’m not eating.

And the cravings! It’s crazy.

I’m craving things that under normal circumstances would make me nauseous. MacDonald’s chicken burgers, for example. I WORKED at McD’s for far too long, (blame my vegetarianism on that) and I wouldn’t touch those things with gloves on. Eeew. But a commercial came on the other day, and I started salivating! Bread, donuts, pizza, pasta. It must be the Candida talking.

I copped out of a potluck luncheon today. Guy and I signed up to bring salad, (I have a feeling all my little church buds think that’s all I eat) so I made up a gorgeous greek salad and sent Guy by himself. There was no way I was going to go to a buffet dinner and sit there sipping my lemon tea. Screw that.

Regardless, I’m on my fifth day. Monday is my last. Then I add food slowly back in. Tuesday will be fresh juices, (thank God for my Champion) Wednesday will be juices and raw fruits and veggies. Thursday, enter cooked foods in small amounts. This will work out well, since I’ve got a wedding on Saturday, and my friend Jenn, (the bride) is having a vegan meal made up specially for me. I’d be a bitch if I didn’t eat it. Right?


About Angela

My name is Angela. I am a 28 year old psych and criminology graduate, but I'd rather not diagnose you. I am a cuddle-slut. I can recite the entire script of The Princess Bride, (including accents) and believe that the meaning of life is contained within. Polyanna, commercials, and Oprah 'reunion shows' make me cry. I can whistle and hum at the same time, but I cannot touch my toes. I am an expert in both listening and talking. I look good in orange. I am a writer. I kick ass in Gin, Hearts, and Cribbage but I don't understand Canasta or Bridge. I can be heard singing Broadway numbers from my shower, and have dressed up as a viking princess, (complete with aluminum foil breast plate) The Phantom of the Opera, and a Ghostbuster for Hallowe'en. I have a bird named Bean. I have a brother named Adam. They are not related. I like vanilla body lotion, peanut butter, saunas, Jim Carrey, broccoli, pets,, Muppets, Kevin Smith, Corelle dishes, dry erase white-boards, Barenaked Ladies, Philosophy, the letter J, Harry Potter, picture frames, swimming, quilting, Michael Moore, genealogy, Raggedy Anne, tacky 50's tchotchke, 'Idiot's Complete Guide To' books, tweezers, feather pillows, polar dips, aquariums, Martin Luther King Jr., and Dr. Pepper. I don't like meat, gossips, cooked carrots, American Idol, mosquitoes, sweating, politics, public washrooms, tardiness, tuition, hunting, pat answers, pick up lines, brown bananas, cliches, pine scented air freshener, Kevin Costner, bacon, candied apples, pro-wrestling, humidity, and hypocrisy. Books I've read recently The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Dark Tower, When Nietzsche Wept, What's So Amazing About Grace?, Catcher in the Rye, Not Wanted On the Voyage, The Red Tent, The Little Prince, The Way the Crow Flies, Slaughterhouse-Five, The Poisonwood Bible, The Fall, The Knot of Vipers, Calculating God, The Chrysalids, Sick Puppy, Nineteen Eighty-Four, Franny and Zooey, The Brothers Karamazov, and jPod. I am slightly neurotic. No I'm not. Yes I am.

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