I hate to comment on the weather, like some boring individual who just can’t come up with anything of interest to say, but:
Can’t you believe this weather? A week ago, Spring was peaking around the corner. Five days ago, we got a huge ice storm and snow up to our nipples. Yesterday it was TWENTY EIGHT DEGREES CELCIUS OUT!! Holy crap. For those Americans reading this, that’s 82.4 degrees Fahrenheit.
Husband and I went for our stroll in shorts and t-shirts.
Now, normally, I’d be loving this kind of weather, but it’s April for goodness sake.
I’ve been reading Michael Moore’s book, “Stupid White Men…and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation!” and here’s what he has to say about it…
That’s right, the whole planet is being overrun–and I’m convinced it’s starting to fight back. One day last February in Chicago the temperature hit 70 degrees, and what happened? Everyone was, like, “Wow, this is great!” People were walking around in shorts, and the beach along Lake Michigan was filled with sunbathers. “Boy, I love this weather,” said one lady to me on the street.
You love this? Let me ask you–if the sun suddenly rose at midnight tonight, would you say, “Oh, wow, this is beautiful! I love it! More daylight!”
No, of course you wouldn’t. You’d be freaking out on a level that has never been measured. You would be screaming bloody murder that the Earth was spinning out of control, heading towards the sun at a million miles a second. I doubt anyone would be running to to beach to catch any of those bonus rays. Of course, maybe it’s not that bad: maybe someone just launched a thousand warheads on Milwaukee, and that’s the bright light you’re seeing to the north as nuclear fission interacts with vacant boarded-up breweries. Either way, you’d be ripping through so many Hail Marys and God Have Mercies you might just knock ten years off your sentence in pergatory.
So why on earth do we think a 70-degree day in the coldest month of the year, in one of the coldest cities in America, is something to crow about? We ought to be demanding action from our representatives, and swift retribution against those responsible for these climate changes. This isn’t right, folks: something is terribly wrong. And if you don’t believe me, ask that dead infected cow you’re drowning in A-1. He knew the answer, but we killed him before we could moo it out of him.
A little long winded, perhaps, but the point is evident.
It’s the end of the world as we know it…why do we feel fine?